Oleanna

For about a month and a half now, I've known I've got this ten page paper to do for a class I'm taking on Greek Art and Archeology.

I've got four pages written.

It's due tomorrow.

My plan was to get on the computer and "hunker down" as they say. But I kept thinking about Facebook and the entry I wanted to make on this here blog and my ability to concentrate on the task at hand dissipated. That happens often with me.

Thing of it is, I hate school. I've been a PSEO student for two years now, taking college courses at the UofM and I am Oh. So. Done. It makes me feel stupid, it makes me feel trapped and unhappy and bored. I'm not worried about doing this paper well, I'm worried about getting it done... and that really bothers me. I like to feel proud of the things I spend time doing, and I NEVER feel proud of my school work, not for years now.

So I devised a plan. A gap year plan. I'm going to defer my admission to the U for a year (I've got to get on organizing that) and find an apartment and live on my own (slash share an apartment with a loverly galpal) and audition for shows around town and work and gather up some cash.

I'm hoping to get acting work. That was the kicker in this plan. That I will learn just as much (if not much much more) actually doing shows, then I would in a classroom. Because to be honest, I've learned more in EVERY OTHER PORTION OF MY LIFE than I have in a classroom.

There are of course, the cons to these pros-- the whole riskiness of a gap year and the possibility that I won't go to school ever. But the pros far out way the cons on this one.

I read this play with a friend the other day, a Mamet play called Oleanna. It was about language and communication and people being crazy and Mamet-y, but there were a lot of monologues concerning the bullshit nature of the Higher Education System. Hit close to home.

Sometimes I sit with my shoulders up to my ears. Just naturally I get tense thinking about school, tense and stressed and I have knots in my back like you wouldn't believe. Too knotty for a seventeen year old ;)

Six pages left to write.

It'll happen when it happens....

Hello Again, Virtual World

I like it.
I like being on the interweb and I like to write.
I like the idea of sharing just enough about myself.

The beautiful thing about the internet is the connections you can make. It's also the incredibly frightening thing.

I shouldn't have deleted this blog but I really didn't think that anyone was going to read it and that was the important thing... for a while. Now I just like the idea of having a place to impartially document my life. To write about things honestly, but not too honestly. The kind of things I'd like people to read after I die. Because God help the poor fools who look in my journals.

And I would like to have a place to write about theater, about this world I'm trying to stick my foot into. Because there are things I really hate about it, things that scare me and anger me, things that make me question whether this is really what I want to do with my life. And then there are the things that make my heart go pitter patter, the things that make me tremble (in a good way) and remind me why I love to do what I do.

So here we go. I shall try not to be too whiny, too confessional-y. And I'm certain I'll write about things other than theater. I'm big on clothings and style and the world of fashion (sort of, we'll get to this soon) and I love food and boys.

But I can guarantee you I will rarely, if ever, discuss boys on this blog. That's where the personal and the honest get too personal and honest.

So.

All right.

Here we go again.