Two Things Good, One Thing Bad

Oh my goodness gracious, children, what a long long time it's been.

I will truly try to update more in the coming weeks.

Now, I have some things to tell you all, some news, so to speak. Two things good, one thing bad. All things very relevant to my psyche a la moment. I did something last week! As in leaving my apartment for something neither work nor shopping related! Yay! And, speaking of shopping, I bought myself a pretty epically amazing item.

Good thing #1
These guys. And also... these guys. For serious, y'all. If Mucca Pazza ever shows up in your town, go to the show. Even if they're just opening, like they were for The Dresden Dolls, it is SO worth it. A thirty piece "circus punk rock marching band?" Yes, please. They paraded through the crowd at first and jumped up and down with us with TUBAS and DRUMS in their hands.
Right, so that happens and I'm like 'Huh, let's see how The Dresden Dolls are going to top this." You see, I've never been a humongous die-hard fan of the group, but after this concert... holy shamole. Amanda Palmer and Brian Viglione attack their respective instruments (she piano, he drums) as if the keys and drumsticks are the weapons they use to beat the villains they sing about. Rapists and bad parents and teachers who never gave a damn. It's teen angst at it's most raw and real and these thirty something year olds pull it off with such sincerity it... it just blows my mind. Amanda Palmer's voice and charm makes me wish I knew her when I was going through all that, because you knew that not onLy had she been there, but she goes there EVERY NIGHT when she performs. She feels what we felt and it comes out of her amazing voice and out of her fingertips onto the keys of her pianos. It's was just so beautiful. And she and Brian have beautiful stage chemistry, like brother and sister, reminding me of Jack and Meg, (who I've, sadly, never seen live, but still) and convincing me that Amanda and Neil Gaiman's relationship is safe and legit and not just a "Hey, let's spread this rumor, wouldn't they be the greatest outcast power couple?" Great. Just absolutely great. Everything about it. For serious.
This girl we were standing next to said, after Mucca Pazza went offstage and the crew were setting up for The Dresden Dolls (the set was great too, just a drum set and her piano covered in dying flowers--and a toy piano (oh, and the costumes too, she wore just a bra and high waisted pants, he just pants and a hat - h to the a to the w to the t (sorry. just hawt. or hot if we want to be totally tasteful))) this girl said "Now, that is what high school was supposed to be like." And I was thinking about that. I think the people who enjoy the music of The Dresden Dolls are the ones who wanted high school to be more punk-rock-circus-marching-band than it generally was. Slash ever was if you weren't a wacky theater kid like me. We were dissatisfied and emotional -- pissed off or sad or whatever it was, it doesn't matter. We felt it. And it kind of sucked.
So that was awesome.

And it kind of brings me to my bad thing. I miss my friends. Those kids I grew up with, all of them are so damn far away. Legitimatly. The person I'm closest to in something like 400 miles is a four year old. Besides Jeff, I mean. I miss having girlfriends to hang out with, I just thoroughly suck at making friends. Even in high school and theater where you're forced to interact with people daily I can't do it. In a HUGE city where I know no one? Yeah, right. Don't get me wrong I LOVE my boyfriend and I can talk to him about anything, but only having one person to talk to every day makes me sad sometimes, especially the whole him being male thing. He's not the type to watch romantic comedies, or eat gallons of ice cream and act incredibly silly. And I like to be that kind of girl sometimes.

So I'm getting a little homesick. Well, friendsick, I guess. But just a little, not enough to be REALLY concerning.

Okay. Okay. Good thing #2

It's a coat. Well, that's a hood, more accurately.

I bought this coat online from Urban Outfitters. Now, I'm not exactly the worlds biggest online shopper, but this guy here had free returns and it was SO cute. I love the little red riding hood thing, and it's warm and it fits me well. It really truly made me very happy. I got free shipping on it too! Pretty much the greatest thing ever. It sinches at the waist and goes out in almost a hoop sort of thing, it's cute. Sorry I can't offer you a full shot but not owning a camera at the moment this is the best i could do. I tried, but the body shots were all kind of wonky. Dirty. And my facial expression is so awk and obnoxious, it was like the 40th picture I'd taken.

Here's #41, I had to show you John and Yoko reigning over my bed, you can see the frame in the shot above and I was like, I've gotta show that off.



There they are. Sigh.

Now, this wasn't the most deep and dark and poetic post. But I'm in a good mood. Hope y'all are good as good can be.

I wish you luck!

New-Ness

Sitting in an apartment which is not just mine but ours, sitting in a big new city with big new adventures. There are bookshelves on these walls now, filled with your books and mine, married together, and OH how I love how you asked if you wanted to marry our books! Marry, what a phrase. Oh how I love you, my dearest. A shelf for the Beatles and a shelf for my graphic novels. This is my favorite room. The living room. In one corner your computer and in another the drying rack I never take down (I'll just have to put it up again next week.) I love it here. On the couch, bay window at my back, coffee's getting cold and it all just feels so real.

It's home.

The kitchen's too small and there isn't enough closet space. But it. Is. Perfect. My very first apartment shared with a man I love. How lovely.

I did it guys! You two readers who may still check up on my blog. I moved to a big new city and I've been here over a month and I'm happier than I've ever been in my whole livelong life!

To be honest, friends, I'm not really sure what I'm doing here. Not really sure what to pursue, what to do with this life of mine, in the long run. Who likes to think in long runs, though? I guess a lot of people. People who want to grow up with jobs that you title "in finance" or politicians, people with lifelong goals. I wanted to be an actress. Now I'm just not so sure.

There are so many things about that "industry" that deter me from what was once my dream. Like any industry, like the fashion industry. I've never let myself become too involved with, or even interested in fashion because there are so many things that scare me about that world. It's too powerful, too judgmental, and too vast. There's so much networking and nepotism involved in fashion and in theater and I am just not good at that kind of thing. I am shy and awkward and I LOVE that about myself. I don't want to go about changing myself for anyone or anything. Especially when I'm this happy.

I love clothes, I love art, I love expression and creativity. I love the beauty of a perfectly crafted dress and a beautifully performed monologue. I love the feeling I get when I'm onstage and I've done well, when I'm offstage and it's over and I've got that post-show high. But the reality of that theater world is just so true to it's stereotypes that I have to run away from it, at least for a little while.

And fashion. This world of fashion. It truly interests me and provokes me and I get excited thinking about it but there are just so many things... so many drawbacks. Tavi and Jane Pratt are starting this magazine. They're taking submissions to start a team and I keep thinking about it. Wanting to submit but being scared of so many things. Scared of what will happen if they like me, scared that that won't.

You should always do the things that scare you most.

I'll write more about fashion later. Think more about that later.

In other news, I've re vamped my blog. Changed a few things. I'm going to buy myself a camera and start taking outfit-shots. There are so many shazzy "fashion blogs" out there, I figure I can spare to add one to the multitude. I'll write about clothes and cooking, been doing a lot of cooking here. Mostly my I'll write about my life. My thoughts on the idea of "grown-ups," what it means to be grown up. If there really is such a thing.

I miss you all.

Talk to you soon.