Breakups are officially the worst.
I think I've been in a form of break-up shock (is that a thing? if it isn't a thing it should be) for the past month. Since I've been back I've been going and doing and chilling and being and everything was peachy freaking keen. And all of a sudden this weekend it was like it hit me out of nowhere. Well. Not really. I skyped with the ex fella and saw our old bed and all our comfy freaking pillows. And I got really sad and lonely and spent the weekend in this teary daze. Hate me, but I thought of this scene in Gilmore Girls where Rory is going through her first break-up and her mom is trying to get her to wallow. And I was like "What's up ice cream and pie let's sit and watch ANTM and cry for a while, you in?" Also it was rainy and gross all weekend and the world was like "You do it Emma, you wallow your little heart out." And so I did.
Gotta say, I'm okay with the fact that it took me a month to get there. That's not to say I didn't have little bouts of sadness and loneliness this past month, but they were pretty momentary and I could chase them off with something else. This weekend was the first time I really felt like I needed to just feel it, miss the life I left and let myself be sad for what I gave up. Which was substantial. And I don't think I wanted to admit that to myself. And then I did. And I guess I think that was a good thing, and necessary.
Okay and but so then, yesterday the sun came out. And I hung out with a buddy, and had a boatload of fun. And then last night I made an apple crisp and drank my little heart out and all felt really really well. And today it is sunny and bright and I died my hair and walked to this here coffee shop. And TOMORROW my bestest freaking pal in the world comes back from Europe.
One weekend of sad and loneliness is probably pretty healthy. I discovered a serious appreciation for Kurt fucking Cobain. Listened to Nirvana and Fall Out Boy all weekend, this is the best emo combination I've discovered... and I have had plenty of experience let me tell you. Pity Sex if you're into that kind of thing. Musically. Ha. Hopefully this upswing will last a while.
Hopefully my next update will be all about my new job and how my whole entire head of hair is orange!
Enjoy the gorgeous freaking weather, guys!!
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