Spiders In My Head, Spiders In My Mind

So guess what I guess it's Halloween. My degree of caring is pretty insignificant. I've really and truly been trying to write about Halloween for like twenty minutes now and I've officially determined I have nothing real to say about it.

Okay but there are a few things. I love costumes, and candy, and I think it's a great holiday for little kids, because it's just fun and exciting and adventurous for them. But I think we should be allowed to eat a boatload of candy and wear ridiculous things any time of the year, if that is what we choose to do. Also I guess it'd be nice if ladies costumes weren't so hyper-sexualized. I mean you go girl, if that's what you want to do, but the gender specific pressures to dress and behave a certain way today. Nah cool, brah. Also though I'm just kind of sad and lonely and wishing I had someone to curl up on the couch and watch scary movies with. So my negativity towards this holiday probably stems from that. Because usually I am all about holidays. Celebrate. Let it out. Etc.

But hey! My hair is orange! So really I can't be too sad about anything :p

It's an ad for Nokomis Beach Coffee. 

So that was fun and I love it. It looked super cool just bleached too, maybe I'll do blonde again after this. I love to change my hair. I think it's a relatively healthy way of feeling like I'm in control of my life... as stupid and trite as it is it's kind of empowering. But I've felt pretty good about that these days. I started this new job that I freaking love. I really like the working environment and learning a new skill and though the money isn't much it's totally worth it to be working with people I like at a place I enjoy coming in to. And also I'm (hopefully) on my way to moving out of my parents house. 

I just feel like I'm becoming my own person. Which is really what I needed from this time. I needed to be back with my friends and family and have some time to just figure out me. And I'm really doing that. I feel like I'm growing, and I was a little worried about that for a while. That I was the same kid I was when I left... or even worse that I had like... regressed. But I'm fairly certain that (for the most part :p) I'm taking steps in the right direction. Learning things and moving forward. 

Things are really good for the most part. I just have this terrible habit of over-analyzing and over-thinking and convincing myself that every major and minor decision I've made in my life was a huge mistake. So then I feel terrible and worthless for a little while until I snap out of it and realize that I'm fine... just kind of crazy. And maybe a little stupid sometimes. 

But. Mostly I know. That everything will be okay. And. All the monsters are just in my head. 

I hope.